Jesus and I

Last Thursday I spent a few hours getting my thoughts together for the girls seminar we had for Houba (see above). I told the story of my last big fat crush and how Jesus drew near in the midst of rejection. Looking back on those days--they were kind of crazy, I was definitely crazy--hurt a little, but it's so good to see how the Lord forced the issue with me in how I always blamed myself for being rejected. And how he showed me that it's not my fault, it's not even about me, it's about him. And how he pulled me on his lap when I was trying not to be angry and jealous and whiny, and how I knew that, whether my feelings were justified or not, he was feeling it all with me. And how now I can look back at those months and see how he broke me of some things and started a new strength and new wisdom in my soul. I don't know if this resonates; I don't want to be more specific in a blog. But younger women usually ask how it is being single for me, and I welcome those questions. I need to know from my older single sisters how it is for them, too. & honestly, right now it's great. Not great as in: "I have the gift of celibacy," or "it's so easy," or "I'm not hoping he's coming soon." But great because this is an area that's really tender, painful and touches the core of who I am AND this is the area where I'm meeting (hearing, feeling, knowing) Jesus Christ the most. And THAT is great.